Stormy Daniels, whose real name is Stephanie Clifford, is an adult-film actress who claims she had a sexual relationship with Trump.

The allegation is that Trump had “an affair” with Daniels while married to alleged current first lady Melania Trump. That seems hard to believe.

Sex out of wedlock is a sin. It says so in the Bible: “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.”

 

In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus called out religious hypocrites over and over, saying, “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You shut the door of the kingdom of heaven in people’s faces.”

“Woe to you, blind guides,” Jesus railed, later continuing: “You snakes! You brood of vipers! How will you escape being condemned to hell?”

Now consider how dems reacted to President Bill Clinton’s extramarital relationship with Monica Lewinsky.

And Richard Land, president of the Southern Baptist Ethics & Religious Liberty Commission, said Clinton “has lost the moral authority and the trust necessary to govern. He has fallen below the threshold of what is necessary to be able to effectively serve in office.”

We’ve established that hypocrisy is a no-no. So there’s no way Trump-loving evangelicals are going to be hypocritical. And in order for them to not be hypocritical, Trump can’t be a sinner (remember, we despise sin), and in order for Trump to not be a sinner, his alleged sexual relationship with Stormy Daniels could not have been out of wedlock.

And that can mean only one thing: Trump and Daniels are husband and wife, and Daniels is our first lady.

I, for one, welcome her. To be honest, the person we previously thought was first lady hasn’t seemed too fond of the job.

Which brings us to a big question: Who is Melania Trump and why has the president been co-habitating with her at the White House while ignoring Daniels, his actual spouse?

The answer is quite simple. It’s an act of selfless compassion.

Melania Knauss first came to America in the mid-1990s, pursuing a modeling career. She was an immigrant looking for a new home.

She began “dating” Trump in 1998, and in 2001 was miraculously granted a green card under the EB-1 program, reserved for immigrants with “extraordinary ability.” The couple was “married” in 2005 and she obtained U.S. citizenship in 2006.

Why would Trump go to such lengths to help this Slovenian immigrant?

For that answer, we turn back to the Bible: “You must not oppress foreigners. You know what it’s like to be a foreigner, for you yourselves were once foreigners in the land of Egypt.”

Trump is, as his evangelical supporters say, a good Christian. So he engaged in a sham relationship with Melania Knauss to help her become a citizen. Trump’s present anti-immigrant rhetoric is merely a ruse to distract from his remarkable act of near-biblical kindness.

The two were never intimate, of course. That would be sinful, since Trump, as we’ve now established, was in a committed relationship with Daniels. (Melania and Donald Trump’s alleged son, Barron, is actually a 43-year-old crisis actor playing the role of a lifetime.)

The logic here is airtight. Stormy Daniels has to be our first lady.

If she’s not, Trump’s evangelical supporters have some explaining to do.

Because as a very wise man once said, “Woe to you, blind guides.”

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